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Posts tagged ‘self help’

Can you Learn from Your Mistakes – A page from my studies

So I’m up reading and catching up on some notes when I came across this tidbit, well its more than just a tidbit, as I know everyone from one moment or another has made a mistake at some point in their lives.  However, can you learn from those mistakes or better yet, are you willing to let yourself learn from those mistakes or are you going to pretend it never happened.

These four points shared below are critical in learning from your mistakes, what say you?

learn-from-your-mistakes

M istakes happen in business

all the time, but most people
have a powerful motivation
to try to cover up their errors as much
as possible. However, not recognizing
and learning from failures might be the
most dangerous failure of all because
it means the problem is likely to occur
again. This means that, even though
it might be hard to admit it, doing
the right thing often means admitting
when you’ve done the wrong thing.
Most people would say that we have
an ethical obligation to learn from
mistakes, but how can we do that?
In a recent special issue in Harvard
Business Review on failures, experts
argued that learning from mistakes
relies on several strategies, which
include:
1. Heed pressure. High pressure often
provokes faulty thinking. BP
faced enormous pressure from
cost overruns—roughly $1 million
a day—in its deepwater oil explorations.
This led its managers to
miss warning signs that led to the
catastrophic explosion in the Gulf
of Mexico in 2010. Similar time
and cost pressures precipitated the
ill-fated Challenger and Columbia
space shuttle launches. In highpressure
situations, ask yourself,
“If I had more time and resources,
would I make the same decision?”
2. Recognize that failure is not always
bad. Most of us would agree
that we have learned more in life
from our mistakes than from our successes.
So, we need to realize that
while we don’t want to fail, it does
have a hidden gift if we’re willing to
receive—a chance to learn something
important. Eli Lilly holds “failure
parties” to honor drug trials and experiments
that fail to achieve the desired
results. The rationale for these
parties is to recognize that when little
is ventured, little is lost, but little is
gained too. Procter & Gamble CEO
A. G. Lafley argues that very high
success rates show incremental
innovation—but what he wants are
game changers. He has celebrated
P&G’s 11 most expensive product
failures, focusing on what the company
learned from each. So don’t be
afraid to admit mistakes—and ask
“What can I learn” from each.
3. Understand and address the root
cause. When Apple introduced the
iPhone 4 in 2010, many customers
complained about dropped calls.
Apple first responded by suggesting
the problem lay in the way customers
held the phones, suggested
they “avoid gripping [the phone] in
the lower left corner.” Steve Jobs
called the problem a “non-issue.”
Only later did Apple address the
root cause of the problem—and fix
it. When you make an error, try to
understand what caused it.
4. Reward owning up. If you make a
mistake, be willing to speak up and
admit it. Too often we dig ourselves
deeper into a hole by being defensive
about mistakes. That also
keeps us from learning from our
failures. If we all make mistakes,
what are we being so defensive
about?
Given the complexity of human behavior,
we’ll never avoid making mistakes
entirely. Indeed, a healthy appreciation
for how mistake-prone we are is one
of the points of this chapter (and of
Chapter 6 ). But we can do a better job
of admitting our mistakes and learning
from them when they occur.”
Sources: A. C. Edmondson, “Strategies
for Learning from Failure,” Harvard Business
Review 89, no. 4 (2011), pp. 48–55;
R. G. Mcgrath, “Failing by Design,”
Harvard Business Review 89, no. 4 (2011),
pp. 76–83; C. H. Tinsley, R. L. Dillon, and
P. M. Madsen, “How to Avoid Catastrophe,”
Harvard Business Review 89, no. 4 (2011),
pp. 90–97.
An Ethical Choice
Can You Learn from Failure?
outcomes)ADMIT MISTAKES

“A man must be BIG enough to ADMIT his mistakes,

SMART enough to PROFIT from them,

and STRONG enough to CORRECT them”

– John C. Maxwell

“Everyday is a Fresh Start … Embrace it” – Audria

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

I totally love this and thought I would share with you guys. I can definitely relate to so many items on this list. Personally I’m working on # 12 and #15 this year. As a matter of fact I think this should be read everyday as a reminder when you are about to start your day. What do you think?

30-stop-doing-to-yourself

My New Year Wish

From my Garden

From my Garden

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year!  With lots of joy, happiness and blessings.  Remember, everyday that you have life is a new day to create anew spirit within you; for new opportunities for new chances. Whatever it is, you have the capacity to make it happen. You have to believe in yourself and take it one step at a time  and with God’s help we will surely make through.

As always, Where there is LIFE there is HOPE

Audria

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How do you forgive yourself

This was a great read, and I thought it would be good to share as we all have trouble forgiving ourselves.  I have made some mistakes in my life that sometimes I still do beat myself up for.  But guess what I realize you cant change the past, you can only live for today.  Sarah Markley is an (in)courage writer on Daysprings.com.

—–

5 Steps to Forgiving Yourselfphotogreencup-1000x1000

“I’m just so stupid!!” One of my daughters face-palms herself after a mistake she’s made. And I’ll admit, it’s a big one.

“No you aren’t. You just made a poor choice.” I go to her, gather her and do my best to infuse truth into her heart and somehow layer it over the lies that have begun to reside there.

I have never told her she is stupid or bad or unlovable. To the contrary. I try to combat those outside influences each day of their lives.

You know you’re amazing.

You are so smart.

You’ve done your best, that’s all you can do!

But even my girls are prime examples of just how hard we are on ourselves.

My 10 year old can run 3 good barrel runs but if she disqualifies on her fourth, she’s in tears. My 6 year old can stop the attempted goals for a whole soccer game but if she lets one sneak through as goalie, she can’t seem to forgive herself.

Why is it so hard? And why are we so hard on ourselves?

As adults we’ve seen so much more in our own lives worth forgiving then letting soccer goals squeak by or going off course in a barrel race. We’ve made big bad poor choices that really do affect our own hearts and the lives of others.

We’ve betrayed people and spouses and we’ve lied to people that didn’t deserve to be lied to. We’ve stolen and held anger close and we’ve been bitter. We’ve also simply made big, life-altering but unavoidable mistakes that have hurt and tripped others and ourselves.

As adults, we’ve done a lot of things over our lifetimes that truly deserve a face-palm.

Probably the most common question I hear when you tell me your stories is this one:

How did you learn to forgive yourself?

I’m not a step-by-step formula girl, but I’ve tried to drill it down to five steps, more or less, that have helped me come from a place of understanding the mistakes I’ve made to being able to forgive myself. {And I’ve made a few big ones in my time.}

1. Take responsibility for what is yours but not for what is not yours. Here’s what I mean. To begin to forgive ourselves we must realize that we actually did do something stupid or silly or wrong or unthoughtful. We have to take responsibility for our actions and behaviors that led us to the place. But we also shouldn’t take responsibility for the mistakes and wrongs of others. If my 1st grader gets in a tussle on the playground and screams angrily at another kid, she should take responsibility for what she has done wrong, but not for the actions of the other child. Those of us who are hard on ourselves often take too much blame and we take blame that is not ours.

2. Start speaking the truth. The truth is, you’ve already been forgiven. The truth is, your mistakes do not define you. The truth is, you are not alone. The truth is, the grace and forgiveness of God are bigger than all of us and our mistakes combined. The truth is, God has deemed us worthy of His forgiveness. When we begin to speak these things we also begin to believe them. And the truth is, your journey to forgiving yourself is one that God with travel with you each step of the way.

3. Embrace grace. Bask in it. Observe it in action. Watch for it. Become an expert in it so you can recognize it when you see it. Begin receiving it from others if you don’t. Those of us who are hard on ourselves are also hard recipients of grace. We don’t accept it from ourselves (it’s why we are on this journey) and often we don’t accept it from others.

4. Forgive others. One of the best ways I know how to begin doing something is to practice it. If we practice forgiving one another, the forgiving of our own mistakes comes all the quicker.

5. Let others speak the truth into your life when you forget it. Sometimes we need good, objective truth-speakers in our lives to help remind us that we have already been forgiven. Maybe it is a good friend, a mentor, a counselor or a fellow {in}courage community member. None of us can journey on our own, ever, so even in this it is good to have solid, strong people around us to tell us that we are worthy of forgiveness. And to tell us once in awhile that:

we are amazing,

we are smart,

and we’ve done the best we can.

Do you have trouble forgiving yourself? What things have helped you?

by Sarah Markley

—-

I especially love #4, remembering to forgive others will no doubt help you in forgiving yourself.

Remember, Where there is Life there is Hope.

Audria

I am Blessed

Soooo, I’ve been busy planting and watching my flowers and plants blossom.   So when I saw this weekend thought today from my friend, I knew I had to pass it on.

I mean,  its such a blessing to see God’s creations flourish.  Even better when you know you had some little part in it.

As I toil everyday in my garden, ploughing through the soil, watering, pruning I feel blessed that they have survived even the plants that struggle; with a little extra love and care they usually make it.  As another friend told me, “…when you start a garden you have to nuture it, feeding, watering, tending it, like a child, until the plants can fend for themselves without your constant care and then they will reward you with their beautiful blooms.”

She is totally right, they are just like kids! Because as parents we make sure to love and guide our children in the best way possible.   And there are moments when you see the results and you know your hard work is paying off.

My four year old is very active and he keeps me on my toes all the time. So I have to always be alert and make sure I’m instilling the right values and attitudes and also portraying them.   And I know those of you with adult children who turned out wonderful and even better than you expected; you cant help but give God the glory because He was definitely there with you guiding you through.

Just know that there will always be this war within you between good and evil, but we have to always strive to give God,  our families, friends and the world the best of ourselves in everything we do.

“Life is like a garden so be careful of the seeds you plant today:

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation”

As you enjoy this weekend thought, reflect on your life and your actions and ask yourself, What kind of seeds are you planting TODAY?

As always be Empowered and Inspire to Succeed.

DO IT ANYWAY!!

A few weeks ago, I went to my son’s PTA meeting and the President of the PTA started out reading a list of commandments I might say, that really got me thinking.

It was soo powerful I decided to look it up after sharing with a friend, and found out that it was written by Dr. Kent M. Keith a dynamic speaker and writer whose mission is to help people find personal meaning in a crazy world.  He is known nationally and internationally for writing this book “The Paradoxical Commandments”.  It has been used by business leaders, military commanders, government officials, religious leaders, university presidents, social workers, teachers, rock stars, parents, coaches, and students. Even Mother Teresa thought the Paradoxical Commandments were important enough to put up on the wall of her children’s home in Calcutta.

So I thought, why not share with you guys.  We all need the help anyway.  What if we had to recite this just before we are to face each day, do you think it would help?

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001

And I would add this line that the President read, that is not in the original “Paradoxical Commandments” –

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

it was never between you and them anyway.

So go ahead, and pledge to be the best that you were always meant to be.

GETTING MY GROOVE BACK, HOW ABOUT YOU?

Everyone procrastinates. We put things off because we don’t want to do them, or because we have too many other things on our plates. So for the last couple of months I had a lot on my plate, hence my absence from this blog, and a few other ventures that I was involved in.

Putting things off—big or small—is part of being human.  You know, the more you put off something, the longer it takes for you to start back up.  Now that I’ve gotten most things under control, it still seems harder to get my groove back in writing and presenting interesting articles on my blog.

So it got me thinking, its almost the end of the first month of the year, what is it that I’m planning to do for a fresh start, or how do I plan to get my groove back.

Then I found this article written by Christine Kane who is best known for her hip and catchy songs, and the down-to-earth wit of her live performances, her fans, students and clients share that they are inspired most by her message of living authentically, courageously, and successfully.

Christine’s philosophy is that you are the artist and your life is your work of art.

Momentum Mania: How to Get Your Groove Back in 7 Simple StepsWritten by Christine Kane

“….. The truth about momentum is this:

Sometimes we got it. Sometimes we don’t.

Sometimes stuff happens that takes us away from habits that created our momentum. Kids get sick. Knees get wonky. Hard drives crash. You get swine flu.

Any number of things can create a loss of momentum.

But there’s one thing you can count on:

When we’re using “momentum” as an excuse, we can pretty much be certain that we’ve fallen into the Momentum Trap – which is just another snarky perfectionist voice that convinces us to stay exactly where we are mostly to avoid feeling uncomfortable again.

Well, guess what? You’re no longer allowed such luxuries.

(After all, you’ve made it this far down the page in these Twitter times. You must be a committed soul!)

One of the most valuable success skills you can develop is that of getting back up and starting again. So, if you want to get your groove back, here’s a 7-step process to help you re-commit to your goals, dreams, and priorities.

1 – Choose the activity.

This one’s easy. Don’t overdo it and go for everything in your life. Just pick one priority right now.

2 – Schedule a time.
Scheduling a time ensures that you don’t put the activity off because you don’t feel like it or because something comes up. It gets set in stone and becomes just what I do.

3 – Go for Small.

The Momentum Trap makes us set our sights huge in order to “pick up where we left off.”  Don’t play this game. The best way to get your groove back is to experience completion on a regular basis. And the best way to experience completion on a regular basis is to set your goals small. Twenty-minutes is a perfect starting place.

4 – Create the space.

Get the space ready before the time comes. For instance, every night before I go to bed, I create the space for my 6am work out. I lay out my clothes, fill up my Sigg bottle, and charge my iPhone. I call it “creating the space.” Legendary basketball coach Dean Smith called it “putting yourself in a position to win.”

5 – Set a timer.

This is the most under-rated tool of them all!

When a timer is running, you won’t be as tempted to go downstairs to put the clothes in the dryer, or see if the mail has arrived. It’s an effective mind game that keeps your butt in the chair (or on the treadmill) and your focus on the task.

6 – Just do it.

Don’t stop to pause and wonder if you really FEEL like doing this today. Cuz you know what? You won’t! Just walk out the door, or sit down at the desk, or start going through the clutter. Taking action builds the enthusiasm. Not the other way around!

7 – Don’t skip days.

I know. I know. We’re supposed to get weekends off. But if you’re doing small enough chunks of time, then you’ll be able to continue your groove EVEN on the weekends. Taking a day or two off means having to start all over again on Monday. This is why you start with small chunks of time and small goals. That way, it won’t be hard to keep up your practice – even when you would normally want a day off!

**BONUS TIP** Build gradually, but keep your minimum baseline do-able.

“Minimum Baseline” is one of the techniques created by Brooke Castillo in her awesome book, If I’m So Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight? It is simply a minimum amount you decide that you will do (work-out, for example) each day. It is a commitment you make to yourself.

So, keep your minimum baseline small, but build your time gradually each week. For instance, add ten minutes to your scheduled time each week – while keeping the minimum baseline low in case you get swine flu and need to take it easy.”

I think this is simple enough and doable.  What about you? What would it take to get your groove back?  Remember the only thing that stands between you and what you want from life, is simply the will to pursue it and the faith to believe that it is possible.

Here’s to a Fresh Start for 2011, Do something different today.

Audria

Empower & Inspire to Succeed

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